Thursday, October 6, 2011

No one can take this away from me...

Hi, so this is a blog post after a long absence from blogging. I blog to assist me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not make the most of each day. I need to blog consistently to support my-self and others too. I realize now, the power of my blogging and words. Because my words are very powerful. They are statements i live by. Just in the same way i have done things which i have and still regret and the actions thereof cannot be erased, my words too stand. I would recommend blogging to anyone and everyone.
       One thing i regret doing is never having the courage to tell a friend the feelings i experienced when with her. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to tell a person i experienced feelings when around this person. This was a grave act of self-dishonesty. And now its corrected. I am no longer afraid of saying what i experienced in a moment to another person. Though it will never be a direct reason for entering an agreement with someone, having feelings for him/her. The statement i made, i intend to live it fully, that is what makes it an act of self-honesty. If i fail to live it, meaning i do not correct myself through action and self-forgiveness, that i do not completely live it as a changed me, then i will be self-dishonest.
      I have been studying Portuguese recently. I spent a time in Brazil with family living there and I have a book with me to study grammar. I also have been looking at an English grammar book. To better understand the language structurally. I am afraid of having a poor structure in writing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of having a poor structure or no structure in writing at all. I have reworked my tendency to produce ambiguous sentences or sentences that run off or cut off. Mainly i would make passive sentences. Which is fine in some contexts when i intend the meaning in that way. But it is not fine when i do not intend it or the reader does not receive my intention. Here's a quick tip: when writing or speaking English the subject of a sentence always come first so that: The bird flew over the house. The subject is 'bird.' The predicate is 'flew'. I tended to say things passively, meaning i would say things such as: the house was flown over by the bird. I have made the decision to change the way i speak, and even look so as to accommodate society so that they are willing to give me a chance to be heard in the way i intended to be. The message of equality is a message spoken and written in a language and we are bound by the language. We also can create a new language and learn to speak passively or actively. I simply am becoming aware of how to best use English to best express me.  So in any English sentence the subject comes first. The 'house' becomes the subject and 'was' becomes the predicate. Here is something worth sharing. When i spoke of equality in Spanish or Portuguese, it seemed i made more sense. This may be because i was using words that were not programmed with altered definitions like in English, but i was speaking purely with the simple words i had. As we become zombified as kids, we create very emotional ways of speaking and we use words to create reactions within us or others. Because i learned a language in college and because i was applying some lessons from what i learned of desteni vids I applied learning words as sound as me. I would learn a word through the sound of the word and would allow it to resonate as me here. In essence i created it pure or as it really is. So this is what i need to do with English words. To clean up the dirt that i created which is our emotions and feelings. Which is energy. Which is very limited and compressed/suppressed me.
I am the key to the lock that is me.
Locked within a mind.
I will no longer be just a mind living for energy.
My action is a key so is my breath.

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