Wednesday, October 19, 2011

hi again

I have something i need to say.I was busy adding more blogs to the 'blogs i like' tab and everytime i add a blog i check the blog out. So i was checking Cerise's which was very cool. Then i went to add Christophe's when i got a reaction immediatly. It were very desperate moments. I had trouble breathing and the straing in the pit of my stomach was getting worse. I made sure to read it. But then i found myself to not really being paying attention to the words of the self-forgiveness, specifically. I immediatly identified this reaction as fear. I was afraid of this website, or so it appeared. So i tried forgiving. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid. I could tell that something was not right because there was not even a slight relief. So i did the same, i said it too quickly. I whispered out loud, because when it gets stuck sometimes, the words, inside. So this forgiveness worked as i was more specific reading the name of the blog, forgiving me for being afraid of it. There was slight relief, which is too subtle to notice, or perhaps i was not paying close attention. But i knew it worked, inside of me. I eventually realized im afraid of so many desteni things. That fear has engulfed and anger too. I also realize that i had created this and this was my responsibility. So as i look at desteni material i will self-forgive.
I had always been afraid for reading another's self forgiveness. Sometimes i would hope it would change me. But it has no special powers. I realzie that im the real powerhouse here. The physical as me anyway. I can use the physical as me to change and become physical, because of equality. You are equal to what you participate in. Mind or body? choose. Lol. No contest.
thanks for reading

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